How is it possible, in the modern era, that manufacturers of toilet paper will make a roll of toilet paper that doesn’t fit in the stupid dispenser? We need the ISO to get on this ASAP.

Anyone want to take bets on when public schools will close again because of COVID? Personally I’d place the over/under at Halloween.

In VirusWorld, knowing how to use Microsoft Teams basically makes me Pharaoh.

I was leaving the house the other day and the nearby construction site had this pipe pulled out of the road just shooting water everywhere. Why didn’t they turn it off?

The other day Heather and I were hanging out in her apartment when we spotted this MASSIVE FUCKING BUG. Turns out it was a praying mantis!

Help support my new charity! We’re raising money to buy Square terminals for homeless people so they can accept credit and debit donations.

I wonder if sales of The Anarchist’s Cookbook have gone up.

I know there’s a “minimum” amount of mask you need to wear, but do you think there’s a maximum? I wanna go full-ceremonial-headgear and have feathers and a beak and shit.

I would like to register my protest against replacing ‘fuck’ in writing with ‘eff’ or ‘effing.’ No, you can’t just make a word out of a letter from another word you don’t want to say. It’s not the enn-word.

To everyone who earlier said “We need a new plague” - I hope that this plague has met your expectations, please let us know if there’s any way we can improve your mass death experiences in the future.

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